atmasilver

Gay Male Age 27, Alignment Center-Right

Occupation: Associations/Affiliations/Clubs: Um... Join the Impact? Hometown: Bronx, NY Heroes: Linda Chavez, Rudy Giuliani, Pope Benedict, my family Current Location: Bronx, NY Guilty Pleasure:

Personality/Character Traits: Shy, thoughtful, compassionate, traditional, calm, passionate.

Favorite historical movement: The Civil Rights Movement

My inspiration: My grandmother

I Joined the Impact because... (tell us your story!)

I suppose I'd better start with the demographics. I am gay, of course. I'm a non-practicing Catholic, a moderate former liberal who has been moving toward the right for the past eight years (now I'm a Republican). I'm Hispanic--I don't think race or ethnicity matter but I find a lot of times I make completely different assumptions than people of different races. A man. MSW by degree, underemployed. I take politics with a grain of salt and religion very seriously.

I'm really just someone trying to find meaning and purpose in my life. Being gay for me comes with a lot of contradictions, but I think a lot of responsibilities as well. Most of the people whose character I look up to and admire the most are people who are not pro-gay. I take their integrity and righteousness as a model for how to live my life even as I will make decisions that must be different in these different times.

A big turning point for me came last year when I attended the rally to greet Pope Benedict as he traveled down Fifth Avenue on the Popemobile. I know well both his affirmations of unconditional love and his affirmations that only a union between a man and a woman can be holy, and only within the sacrament of marriage. As the day approached, I became very worried that God would turn away from gays, and so I prayed that this would not be.

Moments before the Pope arrived, I stopped for a reflection and a prayer. Pope Benedict and the Catholic Church are wrong on homosexuality, and though their leadership is noble, their theology has contributed to much pain. I have seen it. Rejected, conflicted, many gay youth escape or are driven to a world of street life, prostitution, drugs, and crime. Their refuge is with valiant but so easily burnt out social service workers and their delegates who care deeply but who ultimately must retire home. This is a world on which the Catholic Church is silent. A decision to be made: will I PROTEST before the Pope to give voice, or conduct myself civilly this minute? I knew which was right, but I wanted it to be my decision, for my own reasons. I wanted the Pope to know that I am here, and I respect and revere him and I have a mission that sets me against him.

I realized they already know me. Just let the Pope know you're here. And so I smiled and waved. The moment is very personal. I realized afterward, standing on Fifth Ave., the decision I would make about me and the Church. And my mission.

Here is a sad truth.

If we could look into the future, we would see that despite the love and support we give some people, they are destined to choose failure, despair, and tragedy. There is still a difference between being supportive and giving them nothing. Justice, fairness, and dignity are infinite in the moment they are offered and experienced, as one experiences the warmth, love, and pride that all people deserve, even if this is just a burnt out torchlight in the final darkness.



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