"Thank you for speaking up. You are this organization, and you have done something by speaking your mind.

There are splinters in many groups and the gay community is so big and diverse I fear we have special problems uniting, but the fact that we do is a clear signal that there is hope. I'm sorry that some people treat you like you don't count because of your HIV status, I hope you don't feel that way here. JTI is your place too."

"I think Dan Savage needs a wake up call. Have you tried contacting him?"

"Hi,

I keep hearing about the gay community and all the unity we need, how much we need to send messages to California or Washington about how we deserve equal treatment. But as a gay man living with HIV who experiences ostracism and slurs from the gay community on a regular basis, I'm hard pressed to see why I should join in.
Every time I go into some kind of gay chat room, whether from gay websites or just in more mainstream media, I see numerous erroneous and dismissive, even ostracizing language toward anyone with HIV. On a regular basis, it gets back to me through gay social contacts that I'm diseased and should not be bothered with; most of this is due to word of mouth from one gay man to another. I'm told that I'm not clean, I’m diseased and should not exist, or at the very least, should just "be" something else.
This would probably be a little more palatable if my disease was not what drove the gay rights movement as far as it's come in the last quarter century. I mean, you do realize that it's due to those of us who fell ill that gay rights got more visibility. Yet, despite my own health, future and career being sacrificed, along with the lives of so many friends of mine, and possibly your friends too, we are the bad guys.

Can you please tell me what your organization is doing about the gay "community's" own participation in ostracism of its own members? Is this the way a community struggling to show compassion and unity treats its own? If so, can you tell me why you deserve equal rights when members of your own community are treated like garbage? Is this the "equality" that I have to look forward to?
Joseph Yungk
Providence, RI
"

"
"

" I've found much more supportive, open minded and accepting heterosexuals to hang out with, the only missing component is sex with a potential of marriage--hmmm, back to an oppression that prevents me from being who I am and still not part of the "gay community's" movement....

"

"This is far from splinter groups, I see in mainstream media, gay mainstream media, hate speech and misinformation regarding HIV positive men. I have read articles that include instruction to serosort for hiv negative partners without mention that one can never really know that someone is indeed HIV negative, I also see very specific instruction to not get involved with HIV positive men from "America's Favorite Sex Columnist", a gay man, Dan Savage. ( http://www.planetout.com/health/hiv/?sernum=2813 )
I go on line and whether negative guys are looking for friends, someone to talk to or sex, and I see on post after another telling me to "be" HIV negative, some much more harsh, and all the while, everyone else on line on those sites is ignoring it as if it's an accepted part of our vernacular.

Instead of a lot of replies saying "thanks for speaking up", perhaps some people should actually be saying, when these slurs do occur, "that's not cool and really inaccurate".

Some of the people thanking me may very well be part of the problem.
"

"Manhunt is notorious for this type of behavior. This is one of the reasons why I closed my account on there. Discrimination against People Living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA), has become totally acceptable. I've come out here as an Afro-Latino male, you've encouraged me to come out a POZ as well, thank you for that.

When I was on MH and other sites, my never offered my sero-status as it didn't seem anyone's business but the person I was hooking up with (which btw was frustratingly very few and far in between), simply because I thought it was everyone responsibility to take care of themselves. In other words, if one is having sex with people, anonymously or not, it's not solely their responsibility to play safely. It's the responsibility of all. Along with this issue and the allowed racism on the site, and that the owner were reportedly Republican supporters, I decided that my money will not go to them.

I sent MH emails about what was being allowed on the site and got "clonish" remarks about how everyone has the "right" of expression on the site....BULL!

Just stop going to site...as well as planetout.com. Or better yet write and tell them why you're going to stop visiting their site. Start spreading the word. You'll see how quickly Dan changes his tune.

Take heart, brother. Feel supported here. I am only a subscriber, not a moderator or a part of JTI, but I do feel this to be a safe place to voice my opinion, at least that, if nothing else. I do thank you. :)

W"