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Discussion: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
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jaysays |
20. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 6:58 PM EST
"I'm curious how those parent teacher conferences go. Are the parents generally receptive or do you find them responding with things like, "well, it is a popular phrase" and belittling it - or down right angry that "gay" is taught in public schools. 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
eksintrik1 |
21. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 10:36 PM EST
When I hear the phrase, "that's so gay," I make a mental note of the perpetrator. Later, when they say something stupid, I reply," That's so Christian."
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EllieisMe |
22. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 10:38 PM EST
I'm never offended and I'm a gay teen. I understand what they mean, and a lot of people do it without thinking about what it means. I don't think that justifies it if someone is offended by it, but honestly, it doesn't matter, to me at least, whether people use it or not. I can count on two hands my gay friends who use "gay" in that manner, and quite a few straight, gay-friendly friends as well. In fact, the people who get most offended by it are the PC straight kids. I always laugh when they get offended by a gay person saying "gay." How does it affect them?I think it is quite a bit like the n-word, if not on such a large scale. In the area where I live, the older black generation is greatly offended by its use, while the younger generation throws it out much more callously. They're quite a bit farther away from the oppression used by the word, and so they don't feel personally victimized by it, the way the older black generation feels victimized by the n-word and the older gay generation feels victimized by the derogatory use of the adjective "gay." While some may be offended by "gay," I think the real problem words are "homo," "fag," and "dyke." That not only implies a certain inferiority, but also certain harmful stereotypes. And they're thrown around just as easily and with real hateful intent. But I do support freedom of speech in every meaning of the phrase. No matter who it offends. I wouldn't wish to eliminate any words from a person's vocabulary that a person doesn't find offensive themselves. 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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jdv14 |
23. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 10:41 PM EST
"I'm a subscriber and an active reader of Automobile Magazine. I will continue to subscribe to the magazine and encourage other car enthusiasts to do the same, but I think the derogatory use of gay is unacceptable. The January 2009 magazine has the following for the letter of the month:Yes, I hate that expression. I am a teacher and at my school we have included that phrase in our anti bullying policies. 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
hollynick22 |
24. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 10:53 PM EST
I am absolutely offended. The same way I am offended (as a woman) when men say to other men, "You're such a girl." Like being female is second class or something you'd never want to be. I like universal words when being derogatory like "tool", "ass", etc. Everyone can be a tool or an ass. Gay is not lame and being female is not lame. But being a tool and/or an ass is lame!
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jaysays |
25. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 11:37 PM EST
"I am absolutely offended. The same way I am offended (as a woman) when men say to other men, "You're such a girl." Like being female is second class or something you'd never want to be. I like universal words when being derogatory like "tool", "ass", etc. Everyone can be a tool or an ass. Gay is not lame and being female is not lame. But being a tool and/or an ass is lame!"I never really understood the usage of the word "tool" in that sense. I really like the band tool and to use that in a derogatory way is offensive to me. The band is quit cool and in no way are they less then anyone else - they are equal... to belittle a group of people, no matter how small is horrifying. I can't believe our community would stoop to that level. (Satire anyone?) 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
yeswecanman |
26. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 4 2008, 11:44 PM EST
I am offended by that statement each time I hear it! The demeaning tone that usually goes with it makes it worse. My daughter, who totally supports my sexual orientation is in her Masters program and she says that people in her career group (Clinical Psych!!) say it. We have started on a new National high road by electing Barack Obama- let's not be satisfied with starting--- Let's expedite the journey by standing up and saying "No More!" If we said something (such as "breeders") to dumb statements and stupidity- I don't think it would be appreciated! Stand up and be counted! 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
kerryjes |
27. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 12:01 AM EST
I attended small Catholic schools throughout most of grade school and high school. One day during my senior year I counted how many times I heard the phrase "that's gay" in the hallways, in conversations, and even during class discussions (teachers would never call students out on it)...and I believe the final count was 42. It's pretty tough growing up in a conservative area and knowing what your orientation really is but never feeling safe to talk about it anywhere, even in school. This may seem like a minor issue at first glance, but the fact that it's commonplace for the word "gay" to be used lightly with negative connotations is just unacceptable. It is particularly disturbing that this phrase is so commonly used by kids and teens because you know...they are the future.
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CivilRights4All |
28. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 12:37 AM EST
"My husband hears this at school and tries to explain to his pupils why they shouldn't use it. We try and educate, whether at work or with friends. 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
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zeromecha |
29. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 10:33 AM EST
"That's so human."And that is a battle we will never win. 1 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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hrprof4578 |
30. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 11:11 AM EST
It all depends on it is coming from. But, when it is coming from a youth, then yes. I am more concerned whether they know the real implications of such a phrase. It also concerns me who they are saying it to. Just saying it has a negative implication to it.
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lepowsky |
31. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 11:50 AM EST
"So let them think we *are* gay.... we ARE gay!"Not all of us are gay. I'm not. I agree, let them THINK whatever they want to think. It is our duty as decent human beings to stand up against put-downs based on race, religion, gender or sexual orientation. This is particularly important with young people, who often simply do not understand what they are saying. Tangent: I saw a picture the other day of a girl wearing a T-shirt that said "homophobia is gay" - an interesting juxtaposition of words. 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
Zlick |
32. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 12:51 PM EST
I guess I'm in the minority in that it doesn't bother me at all ... and in fact I use it all the time. Yes, it means lame in an effeminate way ... but since I think society has gone far beyond thinking all gays are effeminate, I believe the term has somewhat lost its ability to be insulting to homosexuals (i.e., implying they are all lame for being effeminate). It's become just a figure of speech, and I accept it as that without assuming intended malice ... in most contexts.Yeah, it's used A LOT by young people. But it's also young people who are generally the most tolerant, accepting and supportive of gays, so I don't see a correllation between use of the term and bad attitudes toward homosexuals. Further, I like casually using derogatory words to take the sting out of them. I think if I, as a gay man, use "that's so gay," it removes the demeaning nature of the word - similarly to how blacks have been so successful with the "N" word. Um, of course, that success is not complete ... because as a white guy, I have to write "the 'N' word." I'd like to disarm the word "faggot" to the extent it can not only be used affectionately among gays ... but can be tossed around harmlessly by anyone. These are just words. As the intended "victims," their meaning is up to us. If we decide they're not insulting, their power to insult will diminish. 1 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
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lepowsky |
33. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 1:10 PM EST
"Actually, words are extremely powerful, for good and for ill. Words can do great harm in all sorts of ways. For example, a key argument in support of Prop 8 was that "marriage" is just a word, so what's the big deal? Words shape the way people see the world. By considering our words we can change the way society works, one person at a time - which is, in my experience, the only way change is going to happen. 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Zlick |
34. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 1:47 PM EST
"Marriage" is a good example. It it were not the word so meaningful to society, such a shorthand for 'relationship intended to be stable, permanent, and comforming to our culture," gays might be just as happy with "Domestic Partnership." Society has determined the meaning of that word.As an oppressed people, we can AND SHOULD work to change society's interpretation of words that are used to insult us. I take the "N" word as inspiration. I believe the more we use "that's so gay" among ourselves, and call each other "faggot" with affection ... the repeated use of those words in benign contexts tends to take the sting out of hearing them . Eventually, I'd love the sting to be removed to the extent that society as a whole accepts a different meaning, a non-derogatory meaning. That hasn't yet happened with the "N" word. It may never happen. It may never happen with "that's so gay," but it certainly won't if we gays don't make every effort to de-claw the term among ourselves. 1 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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zeromecha |
35. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 1:58 PM EST
"Actually, words are extremely powerful, for good and for ill. Words can do great harm in all sorts of ways. For example, a key argument in support of Prop 8 was that "marriage" is just a word, so what's the big deal?Though I do not disagree with your direction, I must inject the fact that it is a matter of opinion. A right that we all share, and often abuse. Just as we all have the right to dismiss opinions that do not stand up to our own. So an opinion, such as yours, mine, or the gentlemen you quoted, will only keep the wheel turning. We will address an issue, and then cast our opinions, losing site of what we set out to do. Thus, the wheel spins round and round, but never actually moves from it's place. And the wheel is progress. There is no progress here. To cast opinions first, and then try to agree on something second will never work. Take away the opinion and you see the bigger picture. That you are not alone in the struggle you have taken up, and that if all of those people could do the same with their opinions, common ground can be established. That is where change will occur, and that is how we get the wheel of progress moving. 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
AnotherFireInside |
36. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 3:33 PM EST
I'm younger, and that phrase comes up quite a bit in my circles. I even find myself saying it sometimes, only to think about how hypocritical I'm being. I'm slowly learning to use it less, and perhaps I can come up with a replacement phrase to help me out. It has no place there, and especially no place in "legitimate" print. That particular article, however, seems to be mocking that people use the word to describe small, even cute, vehicles.
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AnotherFireInside |
37. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 3:34 PM EST
"Oh yeah, I've actually considered saying "That's so straight" whenever something is displeasing. In fact, I'm going to try it out. 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Zlick |
38. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 5:39 PM EST
While we're at it, and not that it bothers me greatly, but I hate the term "straight." I think it implies we're Bent ... and it was likely chosen as the opposite of "queer," except now it's the very common antonym to "gay." I think the widespread acceptance of "straight" could be far more damaging to gays than "that's so gay" - - except that thankfully, no one really thinks about the meaning.I don't think "That's so straight" is going to catch on, but I love the implied insult behind it ... i.e., so ordinary it's Boring! But since we know not ALL straight people are inappropriately boring, can't we also accept as common knowledge that all gay people aren't inappropriately effeminate? I wish us queers could stop having a cow about "that's so gay." 2 out of 4 found this valuable. Do you? |
jfermiller |
39. RE: Are you offended when people use the phrase, "That's so gay!"
Dec 5 2008, 5:52 PM EST
"I guess I'm in the minority in that it doesn't bother me at all ... and in fact I use it all the time. Yes, it means lame in an effeminate way ... but since I think society has gone far beyond thinking all gays are effeminate, I believe the term has somewhat lost its ability to be insulting to homosexuals (i.e., implying they are all lame for being effeminate). It's become just a figure of speech, and I accept it as that without assuming intended malice ... in most contexts.As a woman, and a gay person I say that using effeminate as an insult is insulting to all of us. Yes, it's used by a lot of people, and yes, the people that use it may be tolerant, but they are still insulting when they use it. Saying that something is gay in the negative is not at all like blacks using n... it is not the same because it is n.. is used for a person, "that's so gay" is used to put down the entire world of queers in a way that is insidious. Words have meaning and power. It is not a simple thing to just dismiss away calling a boy a pussy, or faggot, or "so gay". We can try to own the words, but they will still have power when they are used to demean and that is exactly what "that's so gay" does. 0 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
