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Discussion: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/21 LAReported This is a featured thread

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dryadsidhe
Always a Bridesmaid.. on Behalf of Marriage Equality
Mar 7 2009, 2:46 PM EST | Post edited: Mar 22 2009, 12:11 AM EDT
Always a Bridesmaid...focuses on the emotional impact felt by those denied the right to marry.


For LGBT CA residents, weddings are things that happen to other people. They can participate, but only as bridesmaids and groomsmen, never being the brides and grooms-all because of who they want waiting for them at the end of the aisle.

When Prop 8 passed (by a very slim margin) in Nov 08, the LGBT community didn't just lose a fundamental right guaranteed to all Americans-they lost a lifelong dream so many have, a celebration of union with the one they love in a time honored ceremony surrounded by friends & family

While the idea is of course inclusive of both men and women, Always a Bridesmaid...is particularly focused on the power and emotion behind the idiom "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" This sentiment hits a particularly strong chord in women as we are often raised with the bridal images found in stories, fairytales, even Halloween costumes… all encouraging us to fantasize about dream beautiful, extravagant weddings from an early age

This is an organization built to illustrate what it means to always be a bridesmaid or a groomsmen and never a bride or groom.

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Treknott
Treknott
1. RE: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/2
Mar 7 2009, 7:27 PM EST | Post edited: Mar 7 2009, 7:35 PM EST
It's a nice idea and I wish you luck. Please follow up and post here about the results.

Frankly I think many hets do not care. They do not care that this is a life event we can not have, whether they feel we don't deserve it, or that DP CU is good enough for us.

I've been out all my life, as of right now I'm 52. I thought marriage was a silly heterosexual construct, I didn't want it, didn't need it, thought our community is better for not having it (I still think that whatever happens on day of decision our community's better off not being stuck in rigid gender roles).

Yes, I was in long term relationships. It's not like I could not commit.

But then I met my wife. Lightbulb went off over my head. "I want to be married, I want to be married to this woman NOW"

The day she proposed to me on the Golden Gate Bridge was the most memorable day in my life.

To have that taken away? I'm a little ticked off to put it mildly

A lot of hets don't have empathy or do not know that DP or CU are not the same rights.

I'd like a drive for straight allies to request in leu of toasters and blenders donations to a non profit that protects their gay friends.

If you know gay people well enough to invite them to your wedding you should know every moment of it hurts.

I'm not wishing to make a joyous event a politcal discussion but as more couples wait till later in life to marry and already have toasters and blenders this could help our cause. Frankly I'm done with heterosexual weddings. The last marriage I went to (a huuuuuge event with multiple locations and costume changes) the couple was divorced a week later.

I regret that, but I'm not giving presents or going to another wedding till "I got mine" 3  out of 3 found this valuable. Do you?    

SugerComaDoll
2. RE: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/2
Mar 13 2009, 12:43 AM EDT | Post edited: Mar 13 2009, 12:43 AM EDT
I'm a "het" and I support Gay Marriage.

I'l be at the rally!!

P.S. How do I upload an image? I tried a few times and it still doesn't show up. =( 2  out of 2 found this valuable. Do you?    
pngwnz
pngwnz
3. RE: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/2
Mar 13 2009, 3:40 AM EDT | Post edited: Mar 13 2009, 3:40 AM EDT
Good luck with the event.
Only thing I'm not sure what it is really going to be about. Went to the website but it really didn't say much. Also seems like it's a little one-sided - for lesbians primarily???
Have fun. Hope to hear about it. 1  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?    

dryadsidhe
4. RE: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/2
Mar 18 2009, 10:47 PM EDT | Post edited: Mar 18 2009, 10:47 PM EDT
The rally isn't only for lesbians, it is for both "bridesmaids and groomsmen". A focal point however, is on the emotion behind the idiom "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" which is a sentiment shared by many.

The event is intended to be a visual demonstration of the roles played by everyone who is a part of any wedding, while emphasizing that the LGBT community can only participate in capacities other than bride and groom. Attendees are encouraged to wear wedding attire in order to create an impact. Visibility plays an important role in showing that we will not give up the fight for equality.

Thank you for your comment; the website will be updated for clarity! 2  out of 2 found this valuable. Do you?    
janewishon
janewishon
5. RE: Always a Bridesmaid.. A Rally on Behalf of Marriage Equality - 3/2
Mar 19 2009, 1:16 AM EDT | Post edited: Mar 19 2009, 1:16 AM EDT
Another het for gay marriage here...

I agree that many straight people don't understand what the "big deal" is about. They don't understand that domestic partnership or civil union is not the same as marriage.

But, please, don't paint us all with that brush.

I can't come on Saturday -- wish I could! I was downtown for the Eve of Justice (stood in the rain for hours - wait, isn't that from a song...?) and that was a really moving event.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the overturn of prop 8 (I refuse to call it by section and passage of the Constitution because it will NEVER be a part of MY state constitution, I simply refuse to have it!)

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